Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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