just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
