u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize