It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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