I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
