How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
