i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
