Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
