I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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