Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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