she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
