ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
they're like a gay fantastic four
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
false alarm, still single
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
