we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
