Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
