She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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