Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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