So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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