On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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