At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
