going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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