the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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