You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
