So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
