the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't deserve a penis
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
