dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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