I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
