i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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