Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
