Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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