Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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