I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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