Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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