gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
