Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
