hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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