Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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