Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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