i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize