can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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