i may or may not be watching the land before time
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just gift wrapped bread.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize