Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
