His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
