Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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