puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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