let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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