It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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