before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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