he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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