i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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