You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
