I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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