party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
