when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
