Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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