You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
