Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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