You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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