I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
