I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
