So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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