I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
